So it comes to this

I have been told that the second surgery was excellent. Of course, I am mending quite well and that the median cells removed from the breast were clear!!! I am so excited about that. Now, the next hard journey for the next several months will be Chemotherapy and Radiation Therapy. I am not entirely sure how this will work out with the feelings and to be connected to more medication. Some people are just heros--they can handle needles and IVs and all of that. I used to be able to handle almost anything, but I really have to restate that! I just want to run for the hills when I see the equipment. But, I have to be strong and persevere.

I had a chance to chat with Dr. --- about my comfort level. That was good to be reassured. However, I am still having great issues about being touched. Some days I feel like I could just knock someone out. I almost can feel the breathe on the back of my neck and then want to run for the hills. Sounds a little childish, but that is how I feel. I have to set my feet deep and just remain. I do not know how much longer that will last but I know that I must strive to overcome that feeling. Maybe I should get a t-shirt with the Dirty Hairy theme--"Go ahead, make my day!!" That might have an intriguing aftereffect. Would a green she-hulk shirt work? I have six months of this coming up and then radiation. I can do this?!?

This has certainly been a journey. I am tired and I have been tried by many. I swear, if anyone else asks how I am doing, I am going to lie and tell them something. Or, maybe, really share and let them weigh it out for themselves. I get the looks at the boobs too--that really gets me when I follow the eyes and then they rest on the boobs. What? Is something wrong? Did I not get the prosthesis in right? Hold on! I will get it! Ah, much better. Would that appease everyone? Gee thanks for telling me that my boobs are lopsided. I think I am compensating for being frustrated at the issues. Oh well. Chocolat!

Do you think a water balloon would have the same effect? Hmmm touch it, you tell me?

Would surprise them that I do not have a prosthesis. Pressing on to the goal. Pressing in. Pressing! Hit the button already.