Reaching

So, today was an interesting day. I am very tired today from my migraine and still on top of my responsibilities. I have a load of paperwork to complete and I am procrastinating. I know that I have to get this done. I wonder how much larger my shoulders need to be to get all of this done. The housework is never ending, of course. The pile of responsibilities never go away. But today, I had a small gift. Just like my "mister" client, my "lady" client was singing along to Christmas music in my rig; the music was turned up and we both sang along. Sometimes when the heart is heavy and laden with so much, the smallest things can pick me up. "Hello beautiful" was one of those that could only have been from the LORD. Today, singing to the most wonderful music this time of year was melody. I am glad that a comfort zone has been established.

Today, I was asked to remove my hat. I do not know how this is going to continue if I loose my hair and have to wear a cap. If I loose my hair, I hope that it is after the new year. I do not want this particular individual to go into crisis over the fact that I am sick. This is hard. At least this bruise has gone away and the next one is to be established. I have been wearing long sleeve shirts to cover my arms in case there is another event of bruising. It was nothing for the other family to see it and they understand and accept me regardless. This is hard. I never realized the amount of worry, rejection and fear others have. I still have a friend that has not spoken to me since all of this has started. However!!! I did see my other friend. She wanted to know how things were and I did express to her some detail. But, how can I share weeks of this to her in a matter of five minutes? I cannot and choose not. I hate being told "you're in my thoughts". Please! What does that mean?

Pushing on. Pressing on. Wondering on. Wandering on?