Looking at a new day

I am looking at a new day. This is just being a stange one. I tried to get a posting published but the system gliched and I lost the whole thing. Oh well.

I spoke with my "sista" today and we had a great conversation. I have been looking at my emotions again and it is nice to see that my thoughts are quite valid. She did validate for me that the emotions that I have been experiencing are quite ok and that she would feel the same thing if things were reversed and on her. I have had a very interesting week of being told some very interesting things. Certainly, not many are going to understand what I am going through. Unless a person actually has had this happen to them, they are not going to understand not wanting to be touched, hugged, encroached upon or wanting to have any type of conversation. Earlier this week, I had spoken to someone at my mother church regarding these matters. This person told me about someone who had gone through breast cancer as well and just stayed home away from the judgment and the thoughts of others. I can understand and relate. However, I would just die from no interaction. I might need to get the CD of the service and listen to it. I do not know if I could. But, there are days that I would love to just hide and not be seen. But I love going to church. I know that this has been a particular battle for me.

I have noticed something very common about breast cancer survivors---their attitude. I have been told that the attitude makes all the difference in the world. I have been told this from four women already. Two have been nurses, one an employee at my oncologist office and my sista. I do appreciate that very much. I do have the moxy for this. I do have the nards for it! I plan on being around for a very, very, very long time. But, most importanly, I am determined to get the information out to people that they are not alone and no one should make you feel less than what you are.

We must stand up and say that we are beautiful. We must stand up and say that we are wanted, desired and needed. We must stand up and declare that this will not stop our determination.

Pushing on. Pressing on. Being determined.