A day

Well, this is Friday. I am having a lousy week of emotions and chemo "stuff". I have started the week out with crying and rolling temperament. I was told this week that my sister-in-law is going through the diagnostics for a mass in her breast. When she told me this I had just gotten so frightened for her. Knowing that this nightmarish ordeal might be her experience really has created some emotion in me. So far, her diagnostics has indicated that there is nothing seriously wrong. She is waiting for the test results to come in next week. I am so eager and anxious to hear about it.

Too, this week has brought even more headache and heartache. I know that I have been told some very interesting things with respect to this cancer, but what I have been told last weekend has hit my emotions very hard. Certainly, understanding the person who told me this aids in the fact that ignorant comments are just common-day. Nonetheless, it is still something that I plan never to hear.

Yesterday, my energy level hit an all-time high. I was so wound up from so much energy that I did not know how to deal with it. All I could say was "chemo day". When I have days like this, it makes me feel like a whirling dervish without cause or direction. Since the school term has started, I have been overwhelmed with so much work around the place and this crazy energy. I am going to bed later and getting up at the same time. I have been experiencing more headache and not getting the amount of rest needed. I must focus and bide my time more carefully.

My goals for the week are to get more into the dojo. I am planning more sparring and to get my tension reduced. I will be saying "no" more this week and will be working on things at home more. This week, too, I am planning to get back into running. I have been able to get more physical activity going and I am going to be getting ready for more. I want to get past this horrible week and plan on tackling it the way that I have always done.

Pushing on. Pressing on. Working on.