Merry Christmas! Well, I am looking at the end of the year coming to an end and I am so excited about this. I worked graveyard on the eve and I am thoroughly exhausted. What I am so frustrated about these days is that the help that I wish I had at home is not there. I work multiple jobs, go to school and am undergoing treatment. I come home and I have to cook and clean and to keep it together for the little one's sake. The messes are constant and I can never seem to be able to stay on top of it. I need to keep the house clean to keep infection or infectious things away--vectors of disease. I came home from work, woke the kiddo up and we opened gifts. Then I went to bed for a couple of hours only to be woken up again in a couple of hours to the loud music from the kiddo. Then I went down again to sleep and the downstairs neighbor's guest was yelling "Merry Christmas" at the top of his lungs. How fair is this? I am thoroughly exhausted. Then, after getting up with just 3 or so hours of sleep, I have to clean the apartment again! I had cleaned yesterday before laying down and going to work. I am up again cleaning. The only thing that the kiddo could say at dinner was "are you going to make rolls?" How tired do I need to be? Could I get some help from someone trustworthy and not worrying about what will be discussed? What is ever so angering is that I do not appear as though I am really all that exhausted or compromised. I am very grateful that the LORD has taken good care of me. So, when I heard the mocking of things this week, I was fuming. My kiddo cannot handle me having any meltdowns and I have to be careful how I talk with her. Almost a denial of sorts.
Who can really handle all of this? I know that discussing things with my Pastor has helped. We have a new year ahead of us and I will be leaning more upon him. I will be needing some help as well. I will have to see about hiring someone to help out with the housework. I am praying for this.
Pressing on. Pushing on. Looking forward.
Hi Sis! I can't imagine what I would do in your situation. I truly admire you...your strenght and courage. You have done more than any "normal" person would. There are women who cry over a broken nail or if their heels got caught in a hole. Some women wouldn't dare to leave the house without their make up on or if they have a bad hair day! Some just can't handle smalll problems in their lives but you...you are an amazing woman!! You are a blessing from above in my life. You have been such a great mentor for many woman out there. Stay strong Sis..and remember you are a child of GOD and HE will always be lookin out for you. I love you. Take care coz I care :)
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