Moving, looking, seeking, hunting

I am really feeling the crunch of many things. While relaxing between jobs, I have noticed that I have gotten too much sun. I have a burn on my chest that is bubbling. The radiation is not all that too far away for me to be caught uncovered from the sun. I have some good SPF and will be needing to carry that around with me to protect me from the sun. I am learning to keep my do-rag with me to protect my scalp. But, for the most part, I have to keep it with me because I have been hotflashing so much that I have to wipe my face and my head from all of the sweat that I have been producing. It is so bad that I feel as though I have been in a shower. I have had to keep a close eye on my sodium and potassium levels. I have been experiencing quite a bit of leg cramps and leg aches. I have been practicing keeping my feet elevated when I can. Ever since my 2nd chemo treatment, my right heel has been hurting and it has not stopped since. Then! Of course, just the clutz that I am, I feel UP! the stairs to my client's home. Yes, it was a bit embarrassing. But, if we cannot laugh at ourselves, then what. That is what I have been doing. Laughing at myself. I have a bruise on my left knee, but that is about it. I was figuring that I would be more sore; but I am not. I try to keep myself limber with workouts and exercising. It works. It is my dojo.


It will be nice to get back to my dojo again. I have been so tired from work that it is very difficult to get back into the swing of things. But, I do my stretching and my exercises. Since the end of chemo, I have put on 16 pounds. I am not all that excited that I have gained that much weight. My clothes do not feel good on me. But, I should be happy that chemo and Vit R are all done. I am. Really I am. There is much to be said about recovering from Cancer.


I am glad about many things. I am glad that my emotions are coming back in order. I am glad that I have more energy. I am glad that I have more time in the day that I do not have to run all around for treatment. I am glad that I am not all that constipated from treatment. But, I am not glad that I have had so much to deal with.


I am looking forward to some distance from chemo. This time last year, I found my lump. This time last year, my life was turned upside down. I remember my Pastor telling me to "share" and not "vent". I remember the torment of what was giong to be coming up. I remember the bttle with the doc's office and the insurance company. I am looking forward to this being just a figment of my imagination. But, some how, I do not believe it will. I am looking forward and moving on.


Pushing on. Pressing on. Looking on.