Today, I spoke with my boss and she is going in for a breast biopsy as well. She definitely sounded a little morose. No one wants to be diagnosed with breast cancer and it is the most difficult thing to go through when you are told the worst news. She also told me of another one of the care providers that is battling this and she is not doing well. I cannot say just how much I hate hearing of this diagnosis and how many women get scares. This journey has been one of the most difficult ever to go through. Until you go through it, you cannot imagine the loneliness that is associated with it. The "you are in my thoughts" makes no difference. The lack of support and encouragement that you have to grasp for is unbearable. It is a quiet and desolate existance.
Now, I am finished with my chemo and I want to be there for others. This is the most exciting thing; however, it would have been so much better to have someone there all the time. Distance makes no comfort for having someone there all the time. I cannot wait to be stronger to be able to be the best clinician that I can be. Did you know that? I bet you did not. I want to be the best health professional ever.
I think that the lack of support is the most evil thing ever. No one comes to see you or wants to invest in their time to be able to say, "I care". I am thankful for many things. The prayers.
Pushing on. Pressing on. Praying on.
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