In this corner of the world

I must say that no matter what, life is never dull or without challenge. At this point, I have been working diligently on so much. Since the last time that I have posted, there have been so many events going on. First, updating in the cancer journey. I still do not have health insurance at this point. I have paperwork that will help me in getting charity assistance. Amazing. Charity. Thank you everyone who contributes to the American Cancer Association. There are many out there that do not have insurance. So, completing this paperwork is very important. Getting this information out is important. I am sure that my oncologist will be very happy to see me once again. Every three months, we meet. If there are other things that I need in the meantime, I must figure something out. There is a clinic here in town, which remains unnamed, is just horrible. They are so poorly equipped with the assistnace of referring clients to professionalized services. I, for one, can say that. They did not support me adequately.

Too, the Breast Cancer Coordinator is awesome!!! Thank you AP!!! You are phenominal. So many have been working on my behalf to get me to services. Despite the time that I do not have and the time that I need to have. I am really working diligently on getting this completed. I have been looking foward to chatting with someone just the same with respect to the volunteer. I was assigned a volunteer to chat with regarding my journey. I have spoken with this person but just a couple of times. We were scheduled to meet for coffee and unfortunately, I was called into work on an emergency for a client. This volunteer has not called me back. She has not responded back to me when I had called to see if we could reschedule. I am sorry. This is quite disappointing. I hope, that one day, I will be a good volunteer to talk to. I pray and hope that I will be a good person to discuss these matters with. LORD give me the grace. With all of this, there is so much yet more to do. I always say that. How can I be more descriptive? What more can I say to get things done? What more can I say that would express the amount of responsibility that I have? I am not alone. You have just the same amount of thigns to complete; yet, it is on a different level. Stay focused and keep your chores listed according to their priorities. Make lists if necessary. Make to-do piles and be sure to be diligent to complete them. One of my biggest troubles is addressing the growing piles of medical bills that are coming in. I am just a little bit frustrated; but, I must be wearing my big-girl panties and get this done. I must get as much completed as possible.

So, now the kiddo. So much has been going on. Yes,she is now in temporary Child in Need Services (CHINS). This has been good. She cannot smoke, drink or do anything else during this duration. She cannot just get up and disappear. She must be fiending for some marijuana and alcohol. So many of her "friends" have been offering this to her. She is at a new school and this is going to be a very interesting journey for her. What a horrible thing to be considered at teen alcoholic. But, the most positive thing is that if she can accept this and recognize when she is having a difficult time, she will be the better. As I have expressed this to the Social Worker--she seems to think that she is in control. Well, beg to differ. She is the puppet and we have the strings. Until she is old enough to completely appreciate what has been done on her behalf, there will be little understanding on what has been done and what is going on. I am looking forward to her understanding that she cannot go through the home and just dig up what she wants any time soon. She must be able to accept the rules of the home and that we are aware of what is going on. For some reason, she just does not understand what is going on.

So, what next? Well, I will continue to pray. I will continue to remain fixed and focused on the goal set before me. I will continue to seek remedy for the needs that we have. My suggestion is that you do the same. Do not give up hope. Do not give up any effort in seeking the best outcome for what you are dealing with. It can happen. No matter if it is a weight issue; serious health issue; family troubles; marrital. you can do it.

Pushing on. Pressing in. Not giving up.

Planning and coping

I am here again. These days are always here and then I look and see that the calendar date is different. I was thinking of the many times that I have been in discomfort or other from the outcomes of treatment and then I was reminded about something. (I have to remember to be a little less vague and more specific.)When I was at the beginning of the diagnosis, I remember the stamina that I had had and the diligence that I was engaged in for the course of the treatment. I am here. I am tenacious about it all. Today, my hands hurt. It feels like arthritis. My body hurts more and when I move around in the morning, it is very difficult to get around; then when my body warms up, I am ready to go. Some of the outcomes to what has been going on. I need to let the office know. I need to write the list of complaints down and let them know. But, I have no health insurance. I certainly hope, for the reader, the importance of understanding that the circumstances of all of this will not change; the only thing that will change is my attitude. How can that change? For the things that I know must change, I plan on doing so. I am tired. I work a lot and I do not see it going anywhere. I pay my bills as they pile up from the medical costs of "treatment". My mind wanders on the obligations that are set before me and then of the outcomes. A cancer patient who has no health insurance. Hmmm. I was supposed to call one of the other ladies back, from the medical clinic, last week. Is this a moot point? Is this really a situation that I want to keep running around in circles with? I have had medical insurance given and then taken away from me for too many times. I have no medical insurance. So? What must I continue to cope with? Who do I talk to about what I do not have?

If the situation with Obamacare comes through, then this will make things even more unimaginable. How is it expected to be that every citizen of the US MUST have insurance when they are unable to pay their own rent? bills? food? How are all employers able to provide health insurance to all of their employees? What will this do to the cost of health care for the future? Will it create costs to soar out of control because of greed and lust of money? Wil this impeach the quality of care to the client/patient?

When I was diagnosed, I had to go to a clinic that was so substandard, it was unreal. I was referred to an oncologist that did not accept my health insurance at all. Then I was sent to Seattle for treatment. Then, when I had pitched a fit regarding the distance and the inability to do so, I was sent back to the original oncology clinic. You remember the story. I had written about it. Now? Look at me. I will not go back to that clinic for anything. It is the worst clinic and has the worst reputation for its healthcare. Healthcare. Hmmm. H-e-a-l-t-h-c-a-r-e? Some practitioners must have this spelled out to them. Healthcare. Sounds like a cussword to me. Oh, can we cuss here? Suppose I already have.

I am amazed. There are so many that are out there that do not have health insurance and are dealing with far greater circumstances than I. But, that does not make matters any better. Can you imagine a pregnant woman without health insurance? Happens all the time. And those folks who are complaining about what they do not have...the latest games; cannot get onto Facebook; cannot get their weed; bla bla bla. Better get with the program because it is becoming quite archaic to sit and whine about matters that are not worthy of whining about. Send your request to the Prez! He really is concerned!!!!

I am curious about a client's right to self-determination. Will this be a fighting point with respect to health insurance mandation? Are we going to be calling this Orwellian-health care? If you detect a little anger, you are reading correct. For so much, there are matters to be addressed. I am, with all diligence, trying to take good care of myself. I do not drink or smoke or entertain social drugs. Yea, aren't we a socieity when we can say that drugs are now "social" instead of illegal. We have really waxed the situation down to that. We are social illegals and not textual illegals. Hmmm. What to be ready for? An outcome to change and then things become more pressed and a hotter issue.

I must take time this week and call my contact person with the clinic. She will be amazed at what is going on and how to address this. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. I am not impressed or amused. I am supposed to have an appointment with my oncologist this month. I have not made an appointment to be seen. I have no health insurance. The matters that I have to address with my kiddo has taken all of my extra time up and to fit things into my schedule will be something else. How can I get to the doctor's office if I am working as much as I do? I am caught between a rock and a hardplace without the answer to come. What am I to do? What am I to do that I have not done thus far?

My kiddo?!. This is a quandry all in itself. The matters at hand now are that she has requested for Child In Need Services (CHINS). This means that she has asked to be removed from the home. I have believed for a long time that she has not wanted to see me be sick. I do not want her back to the home to watch me be sick or to be my nurse or anything. I do not want her to be here to be my home health care. I will never allow that to happen. No matter what her age is, she will not be there to fill that position. I have to admit; I have some trepidation about all of this. But, I should not. I know that the LORD is there to comfort and direct me. Yes, my emotion is very vexed; but, I am reminded. I have to be reminded. What are my outcomes? Whatever they must be in order to get to what needs to be. This is not just garble. This is an error in our culture that those who are dealing with serious health issues are unable to get health insurance. Yes, cancer treatment is very expensive. Of course; could it be any other way?

Determination. Diligence. Destination. I can do this.

Seek. Look. Find.

Knock, Knock--who'se there

Silly to say, but "knock, knock--who'se there"? Well, it is me. I am here. I am here at the door looking at so much going on all around me. There is so much going on that I ust do not have any more desire to come out to play. I have been fighting this battle for so long--the no insurance battle. Because of no insurance, I cannot be seen in my doc's office for anything. I cannot go to see my oncologist; I cannot go see my regular doc's for anything. How is a person supposed to be able to complete their treatment if there is no insurance? We are looking at Obama-care and the mandatory insurance laws. How is that going to make things all that much better? Do we pay our rent first or do we pay the health insurance first in fear that we might be penalized for not having insurance? Well, the answer is we must take care of housing costs first. I have no insurance. This has happened to me too many times. I have not had health insurance for so long. This interferes with my ability to have care and coverage. I get worried.

There is always so much paperwork to be completed. I have to call so many agencies for coverage because there are so many out in the great US that do not have coverage. Then the coverage that is provided by the state is so minimal and is not as widely accepted. There are so many docs out there that do not accept the health insurance and substandard care is received. How is it supposed to be when "health insurance" is meant to establish quality of care that care is lorded over you if you do not have the right kind? And of course, you cannot receive care of any kind without health insurance. This has been such a problem for me. For so many years, I have not been able to carry health insurance. And now, when it is so important for me to have it, I cannot afford it. The ones who have insurance are the lucky ones. For those who have insurance are the ones that will live the better quality of life? There is no health insurance for [...]. No matter how much that I work, it is not possible to get it. And now, when I need to have important health screens, I must have to complete a lot of paperwork for charity and for other opportunities through organizations--The American Cancer Association. I have to submit my claims to them. I am thankful for them because they will allow me to get that coverage that I need.

Too, I have finally found somone to chat with regarding my breast cancer and I was to meet with her. I had a client emergency and needed to cancel this appointment. This was canceled. However, she has not called me back again. I am so close and yet so far. I am so close to getting some support and am getting it now. Support for my kiddo through the Probation office. I am getting some work done; but, so much more to go. I am thankful. I am glad that some changes are coming and that things are on the way. It has nearly taken two years since my diagnosis for things to get into place. It has taken nearly two years since I had found my lump. I cannot believe it!!! It does not seem that long ago but it has. It has been a long, long haul with everyone and there has been so much going on. I just cannot believe it. I canot believe that so much has happend. It does not seem that two years has gone by. When I can see five years gone, it will be awesome. But, I know that I must always have screening and testing all the rest of my life. I know that this will be gone for good; but, the necessity of having checks and screening is so very important. This will change the rest of my life.

Changing. Pressing. Pushing.

So many times, and again.

There have been so many times that I have just said, "I wish." Perhaps that is an understatement. Perhaps, I should say, "I hope."  This has been a very long and difficult walk this past nearly two years now. I cannot believe that from the time of my diagnosis, it has been nearly two years. Come June of this year, I will have had to worry about cancer for two years. I am amazed at how the time has gone by. When I look at the personal ordeal that this has been, I cannot see the passage of time. But, the time has gone. It did not lapse to something else. I am fixated! So much has happned during this time and it has been so ever present in my life. Yes, the chemo and the radiation are complete, but what it has left me in is another story unto itself. This seems so much like the continuing saga--The Chronicles of Caren. Yea, I have said it once before and now, I am saying it again.

So, I have been told that my health insurance throught the state does not exist anymore. I make too much money. So, I was given paperwork for Medical Disability.  This is not what I was asking for. Yes, I am working. Yes, I am able to work. No, I do not want to quit working. But, I have no health insurance and so, I have to do something to get it. I am not financially able to afford my own health insurance and so, I must figure something out. No health insurance. How comforting!!! I think that every cancer patient should have health insurance. But then again, OBAMA-care would have it that all of us have to pay for very expensive health care without being able to afford anything else. Insurance is not cheap. Then of course, your co-pays and anything else that is to be attached to it would be the same. I am just not sure. So, with this, the long-lasting side-effects are what I need to have constant care for. Too, continuing treatments of hormones or other stuff is the frustrating thing. How do we keep the beast of cancer back without being seen on a regular basis and have those wonderful bloodtests? Hmmm. Yes, prayer to keep things going. And to use wisdom about how I live my life, eat and exercise. Yes, all of that is very important. All very important. Of course, all very important.  I have been concerned and worried; but, I have been very careful not to voice it very much. So, now you know. I am very concerned and worried that my care is interrupted. I make too much money; but, I do not make enough money for health insurance payments. Both my jobs together do not give me enough to earn health insurance or to be able to get to the doc and pay for him/her. Quite frustrating. No health insurance. And this paperwork? I cannot complete it. The questions are asking me as to why I cannot work. When was the last time that I worked and etc. This is not right.

Then, to boot, y kiddo has been doing all kinds of things. There is a warrant out for her arrest for the things that she has been doing. She is on criminal probation and she refuses to comply. I cannot help but to wonder about my breast cancer. No, I do not have cancer now, but what stops me from having the cancer again? Not so sure. But, I know one thing, this is well enough not over. I must have the strength to continue and to be able to endure more to get to the end of the journey and trail. No, I am not saying that it is the end of my life. I am saying for the end of the obligations. I am hoping that I will be able to have health insurance and I must find out what I can do to get it. I am very certain that I must be even far more careful and conscientious with my finances to get that health insurance. OH boy!

What to do; what to say; how to do it; how to say it. I am not disabled! I have to figure some things out.

Pushing on. Pressing in. Looking beyond.

What goes up, must come down

For the most part, things are never dull. I have to say that no matter what is going on in my home, it is never dull. Even my cats are never dull. But, here of late, I have to say that I have had my share of things that I care not to have. I am tired and full of thought. Today, my kiddo was put into juvie. Yes, the next best thing with the Chronicles of Caren. For the past several months, there have been so many events that have been so stressful. Sure, the cancer diagnosis was enough, but this is more than just that. It has been so predominant in my life and I am frustrated and feel helpless that things cannot change. It has is not nearly a year since my last chemo and now, things are even more crazier than what they have been. Where to begin?

Where to begin? Well, to begin with, this journey seems to be getting a whole lot more difficult and more stresful than what I would have imagined. I would not have guessed that my child would be in more trouble and danger than expected. I fight this all the time. I have said this before. But, the evidence seems to be popping up all over. My kiddo has been involved with things that I have not approvd. Yes, I have guessed that she was capable of such things; but, a parent never wants to invite things more than what they are. However, this past year has been one thing that I have never expected to see. My girl has been through a lot as well as I. It is hard to think of myself at this time when I think of all the things that she has been through that should not have been. To have a child so young to be worrying about having a parent with a serious life changing illness. I have to address the issues of my own mortality; but, she as a teen must face the same thing--my mortality and the aspect of being left alone in a world that is so caustic and not understood. Now, things are what they are. She has been doing so many things and her attitude has been so difficult to address and to manage. Now, there is a possible diagnosis of ADD and more.  There is the possibility of dual diagnosis and that prospect is not very good here.  I am tired of all of this.

I know that many things have gotten to me, but this is one of the most. Yes, I have been diffcult for many because they have not understood. But, this is much to much. I am tired. So, because of all that has been going on, I have not been able to make all of my medical appointments. This aggravates me to no end. On Sunday, I was in the ER because of my migraines. When I express to the docs what has been going on, they do not look at me favorably. Yes, I know that I must continue to take care of myself for the sake of myself as well as my child. But, at times that is not all that easy. When I am utterly exhausted from the work day, what am I to do? I cannot quit my jobs; I cannot quite take some time off. I am looking forward to taking some time off. I am looking forwad to having some time to rest and to get reacqainted with my bed and the apartment. But, silly me. The obligations that are coming are just a little more than what I had initially anticipated. When I had called the police on my child, I never anticipated that the obligation would be this intense. I knew that it would get to be a battle; but, I did not anticipate all of this. I had to take a stand and to be sure that I would put a stop to all of what was going on. For some reason, some have never thought that I would be going through all of this. I have had no choice but to take a stand on what I have believed and to take a stand and be an advocate for my child.

I know that I must get over some emotional issues, but I am having the most difficult time with it. I know that I must acknowledge that some things will never change; but, I am such a dead-head about it. I know that the help from my church is just not there. I was told--"you have pushed so many away". I have heard this twice. So, this is the aggravation that I must deal with. "Pushed so many people away". hmmmm. This is an issue that no one can understand except the persons who are in the position of understanding--professionals. I have had to endure much during this past nearly couple of years. How can anyone understand? Am I supposed to just acknowledge everyone and have everyone come through my home like bulls in a china shop? First of all, at the diagnosis, they were not there. During the treatments, they were not there. At the end of the treatments, "wow, that was long wasn't it". So, my attitude is what? People say that they understand, but they have not. Simply, they have not. So, now that I have accepted the fact that they are not there, what do I do now? I have been attending another church. This is a small church, indeed. I am not keen on the idea of another church, but I know that the support that I have not received at the home church is not good. "Have pushed people away". This is something that rings in my ears very much. I will not be able to put that behind me for a bit; I am praying that I can get that done. I am believing that I will be able to understand and to let that go. I want to talk to many, but that would be of little good. They did not udnerstand when I was going through chemo, why would they understand now while I am experiencing the most difficult of my parental abilities now. No, there are so many issues going on. There are so many events that have created difficulties right now. These events are not going to go away any time soon. So, what next? What next? I suppose the assumption that we all have something that we should be doing for another person is always there. There is the assumption that there is always some else available to help out. But the reality of it all is that there is no one else there to help out. I would have loved and still would love to have someone come over and discuss things wtih me. That would be great. I would love for someone to come over and help out with a thing or two. But, that does not happen. So, I must lean upon the LORD for that help. That, of course, is my first point of it all. I must always look to HIM for all things. But, at this point in time, I really have never really had a time where the pressures of life are not so demanding. I have never really had a time in my life where things are just easy going. There is always something going on to be my challenge. This is the next context of my inquiry--why is it that these events never stop coming? Am I a glutton for punishement?

I think of so much that has and still continues to go on. I think about my health care. It has been very frustrating to have to experience this. But, even more so, why am I wasting my time with things that should not be?! Am I wasting my time seeking help where help is not going to be? It is not enough to be just praying. Praying allows us to understand where there is difficulty. Acting upon the WORD is the next thing. We are not to be just hearers of the WORD, but doers of the WORD. When are we going to be figuring that out? Pushing people away. Hmmmmm. This is quite the aggravation.

I am working on many upcoming things and event. But, I am working on overcoming. Keep posted. I do not want to sound enigmatic. I simply want to say that what I have experienced has been nothing shy of stupid. Just STUPID!!!

Looking on. Pressing in. Working diligently.

Thoughts and reflections

No matter what, I do realize that life continues regardless how tired I am. I know that being tired is really part of this every day life, but there are times that I am just more tired than what I would like to be. This week has been incredibly exhausting. I have been to court this week for my kiddo. Yes, and to boot, I have had to put paperwork aside for the entire ordeal. I am getting to the point of getting caught up, but this is rediculous. I am having to put all of my stuff on hold for the issues at hand. My kiddo is taking up a lot of my time. For some reason, she seems to think that smoking marijuana is not wrong. For some reason, there are people out there that believe that smoking marijuana is fine and should not be considered to be sanctionable. First of all, the persons smoking it do not find anything wrong with their behavior because they cannot see the difference in their behavior. Secondly, any behavior can be rationalized away as ok. But, it is not ok. Long term effects are very serious and things should be reconsidered when it comes to it all.

I have been working diligently to keep all of my records straight and to keep my information up to date. This can be a pain in the rump. I am working to make sure that my office is cleaner and my papers are not piling up. This has been one ordeal that keeps me frustrated most of the time. I try diligently to keep my papers organized. One thing about my cancer walk is the incredible amount of mail and information that I must keep track. Since chemo, my memory is slightly changed and I need to stay focused on some things more diligently. I do have to say, though, that this is just slight. Having to be this tired makes a huge difference as well. I work doing so much and try to keep things organized. It is very much so a pain in the rump. Really, a huge pain in the rump. But, I am making it. At least, I feel that I am making it. I look back and cannot believe just how much I have been through and am working feverishly on getting it all done and complete. Staying organized is such an incredible challenge at times. Being a single parent going through these things has been so incredibly challenging. I have so much that needs to be done for me and then for her. I am amazed at just how much I have gotten completed.

But, one important thing that I am looking forward to is getting my insurance back again. I need to get to some medical appointments and looking foward to getting some more information. This information will give me some peace of mind. I look forward to more prayer as well. This has been very important to me. I am looking forward to one of the most exciting things this year as well--the Susan G Koman 3 day! It is 60 miles in 3 days. I can do this. But, in order for me to do that, I must condition myself and train. I am looking forward to that. Not many know that I want to do this and I want to train for it. I have to register for it and get the money ready for the whole thing. I am excited and eager to complete this. This event will be held in Seattle and I will need to be ready, of course. I hope that more will be willing to train with me. It will be exciting and quite exhilerating.

Looking forward. Pushing on. Pressing in.

What to say about what has been said

This last couple of days have been very long and full of so much. Yet, I continue to move on. I have been making a lot of phone calls regarding more support and for me to be able to receive a little more pallitive care. That has been something that has been neglected since the time I was diagnosed. What is palliative care? This is an aspect that all cancer patients must have. Certainly, all persons should have this type of care with respect to any difficult and life changing diagnosis. This is the type of care that is considered holistic and makes care more complete. Since my diagnosis, I have not received any care of the sort. I have been forced to be my everything--physician, heal thyself. This has been something that I have begged for and have not received. I look forward to receiving more care. Something I would love--a massage. Yes, that would be awesome and would help to relax my being; however, I have learned to relax and to identify the areas of my life that need that attention. I have been practicing more exercising and working on my dojo. This has been quite a saviour to me.

I have been wanting to have a dietician. I have learned quite a bit about the meals that I am to eat and to understand what is acceptable and not. During chemo, I learned to eat slowly and not impetuously. Learning to eat foods that my body would handle was so important. Having mouth ulcers made a huge difference. I was sure to drink a lot more water and to continue with my multivitamins and my supplements. I was told that drinking Ovalitine was an incredible help to me and it was one aspect that ensured my health while I was going through the ordeal. When I had met my radiology oncologist, I was told that it was an excellent form of plasma. She was very pleased to hear that I was doing so well and that my numbers were excellent. Excellent nutrition is one aspect of palliative care that was not established from the beginning for me.

Learning what to eat matters significantly. Certainly, eating is so important. Being able to stomach the food is another. Eating slowly and chewing food thoroughly is important. As chemo effects the brain, the response center of the brain that registers how hungry you are changes. Too, chemo can make a person nauseous and can complicate the ability to eat. I was told that some handle it well and others do not. Sure, that makes a lot of sense. I was able to handle it very well. But! I was careful about what I ate, when I ate and how much I ate. Too, taking stomach aids made a vast difference. When my chemo changed, I had to get a stomach aid for the stronger infusion. But! It worked. I drank a lot of water and was very certain to keep a close eye on my output. I watched my uruinary output carefully and paid close attention to the color and odor. I know, what a thing that needed to be watched. But, as my kidneys and liver filtered my body, the chemo was certain to create an irritation to them. I remember that I had finally opened up a Hard Mikes and drank it slowly and carefully. This was my celebration from chemo. I was very careful not to drink the whole thing at one time. I do have to say that it was utterly delicious. Then several months later, I had had a beer. This did not go down very well. my kidneys hurt something terrible and I had been in a whole lot of pain. I have not had a beer since. I am looking forward to a small glass of wine. I was told that wine might be easier on my kidneys. But, I am looking forward to another Hard Mikes. This will work and hopefully will be more satisfying. This will be another celebration from the things that I have been enduring. Another aspect of palliative care--permit yourself a small indulgence.

Exercise. This cannot be emphasized enough. While it is so difficult some days to keep moving forward, exercise seems like the last thing on the list. It must be added. I was able to get some exercise and to complete dojo. I did my stretches and my low and high impact workouts. Although I was in a lot of pain and discomfort from the chemo infusion, I pushed forward. Then I would begin to feel better. The wonderful thing about exercising is that the body does respond to the pain receptors and the stimulus of additional activity. Activity is important to mental and spiritual health as well. When we are beginning to move around, we do feel better about ourselves and the perspective of our predicament and situations changes. No, it is not fun having to go through chemo. However, it is fun to watch others as they look on and cannot understand how it is that you are functioning better than what you were supposed to.

Be kind to yourself. Allow and permit yourself to have whatever a day you want. Then go from there. While the emotional ups and downs are going to come, allow them. They cannot be prevented. The chemo induces menopause in women and the whole aspect of changes and control are out the window. Your paradigm is changed forever. What was such an incredible help to me was my faith. Despite it all, my faith was what has carried me through. I prayed. I listened to music. During the nightmares, I would ask for prayer and believed that I received them and was put at ease that my plight was not just for nothing. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe that when we pray our prayers are heard and we have favor with the LORD. Continue to pray.

I listened to a lot of music. I love to listen to harder music/rock/grunge. But! Doing it the Christian style. Yes, I love contemporary as well. I listened to it all. The harder the days, the harder the music. Did I ever love it!!! Yes, I did!!! It was so helpful when I was able to listen and unwind--I did a lot of crying, laughing and listening. I would have loved to be able to get to a concert during that time, but chemo had changed me in ways that I had not expected. Too, when we are in chemo, we are told that we are more apt to become sick from the common cold. I was never a germaphobe before, but during chemo, I became one. Because our immune system is changed, we are more susceptible to germs/viruses that could make us sick. Being in large crowds would not be ok. But! we can certainly have nothing less than a home entertainment center in our own homes. It would be good to have that little added benefit from whatever cable/internet carrier you have to be able to experience a little more fun with the care. Palliative care and the arts!!! that is something that cannot be refuted.

Palliative care! There is so much more to that than what is initially expected. If there is any doubt, be sure to ask about it when you see your oncologist or your regular doc. That is so quintessential to your overall care.

Pushing on. Looking on. Caring on.