In this corner of the world

I must say that no matter what, life is never dull or without challenge. At this point, I have been working diligently on so much. Since the last time that I have posted, there have been so many events going on. First, updating in the cancer journey. I still do not have health insurance at this point. I have paperwork that will help me in getting charity assistance. Amazing. Charity. Thank you everyone who contributes to the American Cancer Association. There are many out there that do not have insurance. So, completing this paperwork is very important. Getting this information out is important. I am sure that my oncologist will be very happy to see me once again. Every three months, we meet. If there are other things that I need in the meantime, I must figure something out. There is a clinic here in town, which remains unnamed, is just horrible. They are so poorly equipped with the assistnace of referring clients to professionalized services. I, for one, can say that. They did not support me adequately.

Too, the Breast Cancer Coordinator is awesome!!! Thank you AP!!! You are phenominal. So many have been working on my behalf to get me to services. Despite the time that I do not have and the time that I need to have. I am really working diligently on getting this completed. I have been looking foward to chatting with someone just the same with respect to the volunteer. I was assigned a volunteer to chat with regarding my journey. I have spoken with this person but just a couple of times. We were scheduled to meet for coffee and unfortunately, I was called into work on an emergency for a client. This volunteer has not called me back. She has not responded back to me when I had called to see if we could reschedule. I am sorry. This is quite disappointing. I hope, that one day, I will be a good volunteer to talk to. I pray and hope that I will be a good person to discuss these matters with. LORD give me the grace. With all of this, there is so much yet more to do. I always say that. How can I be more descriptive? What more can I say to get things done? What more can I say that would express the amount of responsibility that I have? I am not alone. You have just the same amount of thigns to complete; yet, it is on a different level. Stay focused and keep your chores listed according to their priorities. Make lists if necessary. Make to-do piles and be sure to be diligent to complete them. One of my biggest troubles is addressing the growing piles of medical bills that are coming in. I am just a little bit frustrated; but, I must be wearing my big-girl panties and get this done. I must get as much completed as possible.

So, now the kiddo. So much has been going on. Yes,she is now in temporary Child in Need Services (CHINS). This has been good. She cannot smoke, drink or do anything else during this duration. She cannot just get up and disappear. She must be fiending for some marijuana and alcohol. So many of her "friends" have been offering this to her. She is at a new school and this is going to be a very interesting journey for her. What a horrible thing to be considered at teen alcoholic. But, the most positive thing is that if she can accept this and recognize when she is having a difficult time, she will be the better. As I have expressed this to the Social Worker--she seems to think that she is in control. Well, beg to differ. She is the puppet and we have the strings. Until she is old enough to completely appreciate what has been done on her behalf, there will be little understanding on what has been done and what is going on. I am looking forward to her understanding that she cannot go through the home and just dig up what she wants any time soon. She must be able to accept the rules of the home and that we are aware of what is going on. For some reason, she just does not understand what is going on.

So, what next? Well, I will continue to pray. I will continue to remain fixed and focused on the goal set before me. I will continue to seek remedy for the needs that we have. My suggestion is that you do the same. Do not give up hope. Do not give up any effort in seeking the best outcome for what you are dealing with. It can happen. No matter if it is a weight issue; serious health issue; family troubles; marrital. you can do it.

Pushing on. Pressing in. Not giving up.

Planning and coping

I am here again. These days are always here and then I look and see that the calendar date is different. I was thinking of the many times that I have been in discomfort or other from the outcomes of treatment and then I was reminded about something. (I have to remember to be a little less vague and more specific.)When I was at the beginning of the diagnosis, I remember the stamina that I had had and the diligence that I was engaged in for the course of the treatment. I am here. I am tenacious about it all. Today, my hands hurt. It feels like arthritis. My body hurts more and when I move around in the morning, it is very difficult to get around; then when my body warms up, I am ready to go. Some of the outcomes to what has been going on. I need to let the office know. I need to write the list of complaints down and let them know. But, I have no health insurance. I certainly hope, for the reader, the importance of understanding that the circumstances of all of this will not change; the only thing that will change is my attitude. How can that change? For the things that I know must change, I plan on doing so. I am tired. I work a lot and I do not see it going anywhere. I pay my bills as they pile up from the medical costs of "treatment". My mind wanders on the obligations that are set before me and then of the outcomes. A cancer patient who has no health insurance. Hmmm. I was supposed to call one of the other ladies back, from the medical clinic, last week. Is this a moot point? Is this really a situation that I want to keep running around in circles with? I have had medical insurance given and then taken away from me for too many times. I have no medical insurance. So? What must I continue to cope with? Who do I talk to about what I do not have?

If the situation with Obamacare comes through, then this will make things even more unimaginable. How is it expected to be that every citizen of the US MUST have insurance when they are unable to pay their own rent? bills? food? How are all employers able to provide health insurance to all of their employees? What will this do to the cost of health care for the future? Will it create costs to soar out of control because of greed and lust of money? Wil this impeach the quality of care to the client/patient?

When I was diagnosed, I had to go to a clinic that was so substandard, it was unreal. I was referred to an oncologist that did not accept my health insurance at all. Then I was sent to Seattle for treatment. Then, when I had pitched a fit regarding the distance and the inability to do so, I was sent back to the original oncology clinic. You remember the story. I had written about it. Now? Look at me. I will not go back to that clinic for anything. It is the worst clinic and has the worst reputation for its healthcare. Healthcare. Hmmm. H-e-a-l-t-h-c-a-r-e? Some practitioners must have this spelled out to them. Healthcare. Sounds like a cussword to me. Oh, can we cuss here? Suppose I already have.

I am amazed. There are so many that are out there that do not have health insurance and are dealing with far greater circumstances than I. But, that does not make matters any better. Can you imagine a pregnant woman without health insurance? Happens all the time. And those folks who are complaining about what they do not have...the latest games; cannot get onto Facebook; cannot get their weed; bla bla bla. Better get with the program because it is becoming quite archaic to sit and whine about matters that are not worthy of whining about. Send your request to the Prez! He really is concerned!!!!

I am curious about a client's right to self-determination. Will this be a fighting point with respect to health insurance mandation? Are we going to be calling this Orwellian-health care? If you detect a little anger, you are reading correct. For so much, there are matters to be addressed. I am, with all diligence, trying to take good care of myself. I do not drink or smoke or entertain social drugs. Yea, aren't we a socieity when we can say that drugs are now "social" instead of illegal. We have really waxed the situation down to that. We are social illegals and not textual illegals. Hmmm. What to be ready for? An outcome to change and then things become more pressed and a hotter issue.

I must take time this week and call my contact person with the clinic. She will be amazed at what is going on and how to address this. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. I am not impressed or amused. I am supposed to have an appointment with my oncologist this month. I have not made an appointment to be seen. I have no health insurance. The matters that I have to address with my kiddo has taken all of my extra time up and to fit things into my schedule will be something else. How can I get to the doctor's office if I am working as much as I do? I am caught between a rock and a hardplace without the answer to come. What am I to do? What am I to do that I have not done thus far?

My kiddo?!. This is a quandry all in itself. The matters at hand now are that she has requested for Child In Need Services (CHINS). This means that she has asked to be removed from the home. I have believed for a long time that she has not wanted to see me be sick. I do not want her back to the home to watch me be sick or to be my nurse or anything. I do not want her to be here to be my home health care. I will never allow that to happen. No matter what her age is, she will not be there to fill that position. I have to admit; I have some trepidation about all of this. But, I should not. I know that the LORD is there to comfort and direct me. Yes, my emotion is very vexed; but, I am reminded. I have to be reminded. What are my outcomes? Whatever they must be in order to get to what needs to be. This is not just garble. This is an error in our culture that those who are dealing with serious health issues are unable to get health insurance. Yes, cancer treatment is very expensive. Of course; could it be any other way?

Determination. Diligence. Destination. I can do this.

Seek. Look. Find.

Knock, Knock--who'se there

Silly to say, but "knock, knock--who'se there"? Well, it is me. I am here. I am here at the door looking at so much going on all around me. There is so much going on that I ust do not have any more desire to come out to play. I have been fighting this battle for so long--the no insurance battle. Because of no insurance, I cannot be seen in my doc's office for anything. I cannot go to see my oncologist; I cannot go see my regular doc's for anything. How is a person supposed to be able to complete their treatment if there is no insurance? We are looking at Obama-care and the mandatory insurance laws. How is that going to make things all that much better? Do we pay our rent first or do we pay the health insurance first in fear that we might be penalized for not having insurance? Well, the answer is we must take care of housing costs first. I have no insurance. This has happened to me too many times. I have not had health insurance for so long. This interferes with my ability to have care and coverage. I get worried.

There is always so much paperwork to be completed. I have to call so many agencies for coverage because there are so many out in the great US that do not have coverage. Then the coverage that is provided by the state is so minimal and is not as widely accepted. There are so many docs out there that do not accept the health insurance and substandard care is received. How is it supposed to be when "health insurance" is meant to establish quality of care that care is lorded over you if you do not have the right kind? And of course, you cannot receive care of any kind without health insurance. This has been such a problem for me. For so many years, I have not been able to carry health insurance. And now, when it is so important for me to have it, I cannot afford it. The ones who have insurance are the lucky ones. For those who have insurance are the ones that will live the better quality of life? There is no health insurance for [...]. No matter how much that I work, it is not possible to get it. And now, when I need to have important health screens, I must have to complete a lot of paperwork for charity and for other opportunities through organizations--The American Cancer Association. I have to submit my claims to them. I am thankful for them because they will allow me to get that coverage that I need.

Too, I have finally found somone to chat with regarding my breast cancer and I was to meet with her. I had a client emergency and needed to cancel this appointment. This was canceled. However, she has not called me back again. I am so close and yet so far. I am so close to getting some support and am getting it now. Support for my kiddo through the Probation office. I am getting some work done; but, so much more to go. I am thankful. I am glad that some changes are coming and that things are on the way. It has nearly taken two years since my diagnosis for things to get into place. It has taken nearly two years since I had found my lump. I cannot believe it!!! It does not seem that long ago but it has. It has been a long, long haul with everyone and there has been so much going on. I just cannot believe it. I canot believe that so much has happend. It does not seem that two years has gone by. When I can see five years gone, it will be awesome. But, I know that I must always have screening and testing all the rest of my life. I know that this will be gone for good; but, the necessity of having checks and screening is so very important. This will change the rest of my life.

Changing. Pressing. Pushing.